DTHT Episode 13 – Honestly Assess Yourself
Welcome to Do The Hard Thing Episode 13. I am Jason Archer… creator, freedom seeker, leader of self | full time student and part time teacher of self mastery, and today’s theme is “Honestly Assess Yourself”.
So, turn up the volume, put down the distractions and let’s kick this off…
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Have you ever started down a path that you felt held a great deal of meaning for you, and then for whatever reason you could not move toward the outcome you wanted to create? Whether it was a Mental, Physical, or Spiritual target you sought, it didn’t matter… there was some part of you that refused to move. This podcast is born out of that specific idea. Do The Hard Thing is an exploration in human movement.
I’m back after a short hiatus… As I mentioned in a previous podcast, the Queen and I hit a target of acquiring a new home and a new cash flow rental property coming into this last quarter and honestly the workload getting moved and reset was more than we both expected.
Couple that with the fact that it took nearly two weeks just get internet access setup at the new pad, and another week or so to get my office setup, I missed about 4 weeks worth of episodes and now I’m in debt to myself and to you guys on this particular venture since my commitment was to have new content coming your way every Monday morning of each new week.
However, I did fail.
That is my honest assessment of myself during this time period.
Some will look at the situation… the move, the lack of internet, the lack of an office, and all the time that went into getting a useful space setup and say, “Well really, you can’t count this as a fail because, hey just look at the circumstances… they were less than ideal.”
And, of course, you’re right. Circumstances were and largely still remain less than ideal. So does that let me off the hook? Does it give me a pass? Does it give me cause to break my commitment to myself and to you by your estimation of the facts?
Now, most of you, being nice people, will most likely say yes… Shit happens and you weren’t able to get it done. No worries.
However, I would have to disagree and say emphatically, “NO!”.
So, in looking at the situation why might you say “Yes” and I say “No”?
It comes down to how we each assess my performance. If you said yes, what you are really saying is that the story about why I didn’t get the last 4 episodes completed is just as valuable as the result I claimed to want to create.
Yet, when I look at the story and the results I created by missing the last 4 weeks of episodes, I am valuing the results over the story about why it didn’t get done.
Many people in our lives, relationships, businesses, and families have decided to believe if someone comes to us with a “really good reason” as to why they didn’t get something done… That they’ve earned a pass. They should get credit or at least partial credit based on the quality of the story they can tell us about why they didn’t perform.
They focus on the bullshit story about failure and tell you it’s OK that you didn’t perform, because hey, you had good reason.
Rather than looking at the results… which are black and white. When we start examining the thin grey line between and justifying failure we open ourselves up to an infinite number of ways to excuse our lack of achievement.
However, if we are truly masters of ourselves… The way we show up in the world can not be based solely on circumstance.
Will there be circumstances that impede you or cause you to miss deadlines or commitments?
Yes. Of course… That’s just life.
However, It seems that the vast majority of people who live in the land of excuses seldom have a good reason as to why their particular circumstance prevented the outcome they had committed themselves to hitting.
So to be honest and forthright… I count myself among that group in this case. The reality is I have 3 or 4 cell phones. Two of which I use regularly for media and recording. So was it impossible for me to get the work done? Not really.
It was just really, really inconvenient.
I used inconvenience and worry over the tasks needing completion to take me off my game.
I chose to act like a child who refuses to go to bed without his “blanky”…
It’s a way of demanding that everything line up perfectly or else… And if it doesn’t I give myself a pass even though I had the means to make it happen.
Like the child who’s bed is warm and waiting for him, but he refuses to go down because his circumstances look different. So he sabotages himself, depriving himself of sleep… with the his bed empty and waiting for him in his bedroom.
How many times are commitments broken because circumstances change?
But more importantly… how many times do we let people off the hook because they deliver up a good story. At least in their eyes.
When we are dealing with people who are committed to their own growth and vision, we do not do them any favors to allow them to slide. It is not a kindness to allow someone to perform below their capabilities.
You’ve heard of holding people accountable… how about holding people capable?
Not only of accomplishing what they set out to accomplish, also for being able to weather the criticism earned when commitments are broken.,, and for creating a path for rectifying the miss.
What is missed by most of us when we offer up a story… is that we are only serving ourselves.
When I give a narrative instead of results, what I am really doing is seeking to protect my own “looking good” program. I want to save face.
For you, maybe it’s about not being wrong, or about being right… It varies depending on how you show up in the world.
I promise you this, though… I know now that when I show up with excuses or stories, rather than results. I lose face. I bleed power and influence. And you do too.
Power comes from knowing that no matter which way I perform, I own my results. That I am an agent unto myself. Blaming circumstances kills any opportunity you have to have that experience… You don’t get the opportunity to look inside yourself and check in with what the real problem is.
But that’s where you have to start: Inside yourself… introspection. All the answers as to why you do what you do lie there.
The phrase, “Know Thyself” is one of the most underrated expressions, but one that you can use to your advantage if you are serious about your life.
For example: I know a great deal about me. And, one of the things I know about me is that I am not “Johnny Follow-Thru”… Not that I don’t follow through, but it isn’t my forte. I live in the world of the creative and the world of vision. However, without execution creativity and vision doesn’t matter.
It’s just fuzzy thought and pretty words.
I need the freedom of systems to keep me on track… so here’s one you can try: In my gym business at CrossFit North Phoenix, I recently chose into a policy that states if a commitment is broken, it’ll cost you 100 bucks. For everyday it remains broken is another 25.
You can play this game with anyone around any commitment or action, and you’ll learn real quick who’s serious… who makes up excuses not to pay up, and who outright quits because the stakes are too high and they are unwilling to be capable and accountable to something they chose into in the first place.
So where do you fall with all this?
What is one area of your life where you are failing to meet your commitments or obligations that you can identify and start the process of correcting?
How much better would you feel about yourself, if you knew you could trust yourself to follow through… You trusting you, is the beginning of confidence.
That’s it for today! Thank you for listening, and if you found value in this message be sure to subscribe on iTunes, Google, Castbox, or Stitcher | Share this with those you know need to hear it on social | And I’ll see you back here in the next episode | This is Jason Archer signing off | Now… go, and DO THE HARD THING.