DTHT Episode 4 - You... Expecting Something From You
Welcome to Do The Hard Thing Episode 4. I am Jason Archer… creator, freedom seeker and leader of self | full time student and part time teacher of self mastery, and today’s theme is “You… Expecting Something From You”…
So, turn up the volume, put down the distractions and let’s kick this off…
[NOTE: Insert some intro music here | Insert brief description here]
Have you ever started a project that you felt held a great deal of meaning for you, and then for whatever reason you could not move toward the outcome you wanted to create. Whether it was a Mental, Physical, or Spiritual target you sought, it didn’t matter… there was some part of you who refused to move. This podcast is born out of that specific idea. Do The Hard Thing is an exploration in human movement.
When I started this podcast, I faced a great deal of resistance within myself… Like there was this anti-me wanting to negate anything creative I planned to put forth. I talk about the difficulty I faced in overcoming this in the Zero Episode of Do The Hard Thing… so stop here and go listen to that for the whole story.
The nutshell version of the reason, as irrational as it was, for not getting this going sooner was that I was fearful. And, I really wasn’t at a point yet in my development where I had a level of mastery of myself that I could afford to make an individual power move, like putting out a podcast that was solely me. Where there was no place or other person involved I could hide behind, if the shit hit the fan and I was going to take some slings and arrows from any critics or naysayers.
My thinking made me fragile. When in reality, I wasn’t… I could take the hits if they came, I just didn’t want to step into my power and prove that to myself.
That didn’t stop my fears from showing up in my head and saying ,”There’s always that chance that all you’ll prove is that you’re fragile and incompetent.
Now, i’m sure you can read between the lines here and notice what is happening or what was happening back in that moment. I was afraid of the outcomes I would create and that they would not be considered “Good Enough” out there within the realm of the old interwebs… and, yet I moved anyway.
I moved anyway.
This is the courage phase.
Courage is not something regularly required if you plan to live status quo, however if growth is your end game… you’ll need it in spades. And, here’s the really fucked up thing about the courage phase: You have to earn the right to get yourself here.
Yep, before you can experience the weight of courage you’ll need when you expand and grow, you first have to decide on what you will expect of yourself.
Most of your life, you’ll have people placing expectations on you. Parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, hell even the system of government you’re born into all create a predetermined path for anyone who chooses not to question the direction they are being herded.
Your parents and teachers expect you to behave and do well in school, then find gainful employment. Your circle of friends have an expectation on your role in the group… Maybe you’re the funny one, or the smart one, or the one who organizes all the going out or getting together, and of course there is Uncle Sam who expects you to pay up in terms of taxes, and pay up when your parking meter expires because you took extra time to help that elderly gentleman catch his dog when he broke leash back there on the sidewalk.
Expectations… Every one places them on you.
The REAL QUESTION is: Do you place any on yourself?
Michael Jordan, the great basketball player, is quoted as saying, “You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.”
So, if I carry that idea forward with doing something I have not yet done (in this case for me it was a solo podcast), and I know that I have to expect something from me before I can do that thing… then by default, I know I am going to face some serious trials before the universe grants me that thing or ability I want.
Maybe it’s long hours on the basketball court, or reading a book a week, or committing to a coach for guidance, or hundreds upon hundreds if not thousands of reps in practice of the thing or ability you want to acquire. It doesn’t really matter, what matters is you will be faced with your inadequacies repeatedly and possibly publicly… You’ll face your fears and face the reality of your point A, your baseline starting point, and you will NOT enjoy it much of the time. There will be pain, embarrassment, failure, bad decisions, and even worse outcomes in the beginning.
That is how it should be if you are genuinely looking to expand yourself and your capabilities.
Those with COURAGE and GRIT, those who weather the consistency of dealing with the fear and failure are the only ones who get what they truly desire.
And, with each of these comes the tracking… the black and white results of what you did or did not do on your path to satisfy whatever expectation you set for yourself.
The expectation I set for myself, the goal, the target for me in this podcast is that I will have new content written, produced, recorded, and syndicated by Monday of each week.
This is something I’ve never done before, however this is my 5th week of doing it. Each time I complete an episode, I get just a little bit better, a little bit smoother, and my ability increases along with my confidence and my belief in myself.
The easiest way to think about this in terms of what you will experience is this: No matter what expectation you set for yourself in terms of growth or ability, realize that the “feel good” part… the part where you experience joy over what you’re doing COMES AFTER the “feeling like shit” part where you are fumbling around in the dark looking for a path toward your expectation of yourself.
It is in this struggle for what you want from yourself, that you find your true nature… Will you quit when you realize no one is coming to save you, or will you consistently move through the fog and step into the power you posses.
I hope it’s the latter… you will serve the world to higher degree by doing so.
That’s it for today! Thank you for listening, and if you found value in this message be sure to subscribe on iTunes, Google, Castbox, or Stitcher | Share this with those you know need to hear it on social | And I’ll see you back here in the next episode | This is Jason Archer signing off | Now… go, and DO THE HARD THING.